Thursday, March 23, 2006

Rocking along

Life is going along. J is up far later than any sensible three-year-old should be (wait, I think that's an oxymoron, "sensible three-year-old"), but daycare drop-off has improved immensely. He'll now look at me and say, "Go, go, go, mama, I'll be a big boy." LOLOL Yeah, it kind of tears at my heart a little bit, but then I know he'll eventually have to grow up, and besides, in the grand scheme of things, that little bit of independence is better than the alternative (the screaming nuclear melt-down that leaves both of us in tears).

Work is work. My manager has commented on the good job I've been doing, so that's nice. I caught a possible fraud attempt today, and my manager's manager is aware of that, so there's another point for me. I'm trying, dammit. If I'd had the manager I have now when I started, I might not have ever disliked the job so much. She's very good - she really wants her team to do well, and she'll do everything she can to help us do that. So, it's still not fabulous, but it's better most days. A friend of mine did a reading for me, and she did say that I'm where I'm meant to be right now, so all my job-search efforts may be for naught. I'm going to keep trying, though, but at least work is no longer a daily dose of stomach-churning dread. (Although accounts are being realigned in a way that doesn't sound like much fun for any of us, so ask me how I'm feeling about it in a couple of weeks. It's a temporary thing, because one of our team members is working on a special project until someone is hired full-time for the position, but still - for however long "temporary" is, it's going to suck serious ass.)

Brian called me this evening to let me know how his interview went. He was on his way to handbell practice, so he didn't have a whole lot of time to talk, but he said he thought I might like to know so he was calling. This was his interview with the National Archives in Fort Worth. They had over 400 applicants, and he's one of EIGHT they called for an interview. That's nothing to sneeze at. He said he'd give me all the details tomorrow, when he comes up here. I really, really, really hope he gets this job. I would be beyond excited if he got to move up this way. I would turn flips (and I haven't done that in so long, I should sell tickets).

And would you say it's a good thing if a guy can tell you some fairly personal stuff, stuff that might have a detrimental effect on a relationship depending on the personality of the person hearing it and how they took it? Brian sent me a fairly long e-mail yesterday, and a good bit of it was stuff like that. He said he hoped he hadn't freaked me out or caused me to lose sleep, but it didn't. I was touched that he felt like he *could* share it with me. So is that a good thing, do you think?

I like him. I like him probably far more than is sensible. I have no idea where this might end up, but I do know that if we were to stop seeing each other, I'd hurt over it a lot. Yeah, I like him.

And on that happy note, I'm going to go to bed. Look, I'll be in bed before midnight! What a concept!

Friday, March 17, 2006

Three strikes, you're out

I haven't posted much because I haven't felt likt I've had a whole lot to post about. Now that I think about it, I do have some things to talk about, but not at the moment. Maybe this weekend I can take time to really write.

I got a call from the recruiter today - she left a voicemail on my cell phone letting me know I was out of the running for the job I interviewed for on Feb. 28. It was a really peculiar message - first she said they were still interviewing a couple of people, then she said the hiring managers were meeting to make a decision and they'd narrowed it down to candidates other than me, so I was no longer being considered, but then she said they still had a couple of other people to interview. What the hell?! So which is it, they've narrowed down their possible candidates or they're still interviewing? It seems like the two would be mutually exclusive.

I'm not really sad, though, only disappointed because that seemed like the most immediate way for me to get out of here. But this is the third time I've interviewed there, and the third time I haven't been hired. Three strikes, they're out - I'm just not going to interview there anymore, I'll look elsewhere. I keep telling myself that things happen for a reason. I may not know what it is, but there's some really good reason that I don't belong there right now (or maybe ever). So, whenever things seem rotten here, I'll try to remind myself that I could have ended up jumping out of the frying pan into an inferno for all I know. There *is* something out there that's right for me and good for me and that pays me enough to support me and J and to put a little aside, too. I just have to keep looking.

So, back to square one....

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Long time, no post

Let's see, what all has happened since I last wrote?

Our divorce was final February 28. K signed a waiver of citation and decided not to go to the hearing, and he signed an agreed order, so it was just me at the courthouse. The hearing was set for 9:00. The judge called three cases before mine, two of which were no-shows, and then it was my turn. I basically read the petition into the record, the judge looked over the agreed order, asked me if I was changing my name (I'm not - too used to answering to it, and it would be confusing for J if my name was different from his), signed here, stamped there, and that was it. Divorce granted. I was done by 9:30. Then I went to K's and fixed his computer, and we went to lunch. LOL (He said his girlfriend was a little bothered by the fact that the two of us went to lunch - eh, let her think I'm more dangerous than I really am. LOL)

It's been such a long time coming, I don't really feel any different. One of my girlfriends swore that it would be different when things were actually final, that I'd be more emotional than I expected, but I haven't been. I mean, I grieved the end of my marriage a long time ago - I started that process when K first said he might want to move out. And when your marriage has been over in your heart for months or years, it's hard to grieve any more when it's finally over on paper and in the eyes of the law as well.

So. Now I'm officially single. Woo! That and $4.50 will get you a latte at Starbucks.

I also had a job interview on the same day as the hearing, at 3:30 in the afternoon. It's my third interview for a position with JP Morgan Chase. They keep calling me - there must be something they see that they like, so hopefully the third time will be the charm. I thought it went pretty well - they seemed impressed with my answers to questions, and with the questions I asked. One of my co-workers interviewed the following day (they have two positions, so it's not like we're competing for just the one - hopefully we'll both get hired, and can tell our current job to kiss it at the same time!), and she said my name came up during her interview. Surely that's a good sign? One of the questions in my interview was "how would your teammates describe you?" The first thing I said, jokingly, was that they'd call me the computer goddess, as I'm pretty good with technology and help out several team members who aren't quite so fluent in computer-type things. My co-worker said that came up in her interview, they said I'd mentioned I was good with computers. She told them good doesn't even begin to cover it, and bragged on me. It's good to have good friends, who'll put in a good word for you in their own interview! Anyway, they hope to have people in the positions within three weeks, so they should be making a decision pretty soon. It would be fewer accounts and more money, so I would be exceedingly glad to get this job. Even if it turned out to suck total ass and be just as stressful as where I am now, at least I'd be better compensated for it. (Which would be just in time to pay my bar dues - a handy thing, indeed.) So y'all keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer, light a candle, whatever - and hopefully I'll get some good news.

I also got an external hard drive for my computer. K thought his had totally croaked, and once I got it back up, he wanted to get one for himself, to back everything up so if the hard drive ever did crash, he wouldn't lose everything. After he got his, I thought, hmm, perhaps I should do that, too. So I did. I'd be crushed if I lost all my pics of J. Now they're backed up, and as an added security, I think I'll burn them onto CD, too.

Brian came up this weekend. :) It was a good weekend. I like him rather a bit. He brought me a CD that he thought I'd like - Madeleine Peyroux, Careless Love. If you like jazz, check it out. He's got an interview for a job up in this area on March 23. If he got it, that would mean he could move to where he's not quite so far away. I would be thrilled if that worked out. If it doesn't, he's going to keep looking - he likes his current job, but says he's gone about as far as he can there, so he wants to find something else. But if this one worked out, he could move sooner rather than later.

Now for something completely different - random J funnies:

~"I've got bubbles coming out my booty!" (said to his father while he was in the bath)

~"The pizza man is gone. Can I take my pants off now?" (he likes to run around with no pants on, and K told him he had to put his pants on when the pizza guy was on the way, that we didn't run around naked in front of other people)

~"I have to go first. I'll be the hero." (said to K as they were on their way to the kitchen to get milk - he literally pushed K out of the way and got in front of him, so he could be the hero)

He's too much. One minute he'll make me want to bang my head into the nearest wall, and then he'll come out with something like that. Never a dull moment, that's for sure.